The Mediation Process

Although every conflict is different and every mediation process differs too, there are a number of steps which you will need to consider in every case...

        1.       Preparation

Lay out the “ground rules” for the mediation process. You may want to set up some basic rules, like only one person speaks at a time, and while someone is talking, the others have to listen in silence. There also will be no verbal abuse at anytime, as well as everything that happens remains confidential unless both parties have another agreement. Consider whether you should have separate meetings with each party to develop a better understanding of the issues before mediating a joint agreement.

        2.       Reconstruction and Understanding the Conflict

Listen to the participants stories, whether together or separately, and clarify what they want to achieve from the process. If you are meeting both participants together, it is helpful if you can summarise the main points of conflict in a neutral way that both can agree upon.  It can also be helpful at this stage to name the emotions that participants are feeling, to show that they have been recognised and understood.

        3.       Defining Points of Agreement and Dispute

Move towards a position where they start to understand each other’s point of view, and can then begin to resolve a shared problem. One way to do this is to think of it as moving from a focus on the past to one on the future. It’s extremely powerful to reflect feelings back to the participants, as it shows both that they have been heard. Don’t be afraid to suggest a break for coffee or a walk outside, or even an adjournment to another day if you think things are getting a bit heated.

        4.       Creating Options for Agreement

Identify the simplest area, or the one on which there is most agreement, and suggest resolving that first, to give a ‘quick win’. Useful techniques for developing options include brainstorming. At this stage – anything goes! You then need to help the participants to develop evaluation criteria, which should ideally be objective and in order of importance. Your role here is to make sure that all participants are equally involved in generating options and developing evaluation criteria, and that they cover all parts of the problem. Make sure that you are reflecting their opinions and not your own. Once the options have been discussed, you’ll need to guide them to a single solution that suits all parties.

        5.       Developing an Agreement

Help the participants to achieve an agreement that is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound:

- Writing down the proposal and reading it back to them.
- Writing down individual points so they are clear and understood.
- Clarifying any general or vague points.
- Avoid legalistic language, and keep everything very simple.
- Summarise progress and next steps, including setting a deadline for any future meetings, and identifying any remaining areas of difficulty, and options for their resolution.
- Being positive about progress and the fact that everyone has remained engaged.
- Offering your continued support as a mediator if required.
- Ensuring both parties sign the agreement then and there, and close the meeting once agreement is reached.

Mediation is an effective method to help solve conflicts that have gone beyond the negotiation stage. Contact Cape Mediators for affordable, professional mediation services!