Although every conflict is different and every
mediation
process differs too, there are a number of steps which you will need to
consider in every case...
1. Preparation
Lay out the “ground
rules” for the mediation process. You may want to set up some basic rules,
like only one person speaks at a time, and while someone is talking, the others
have to listen in silence. There also will be no verbal abuse at anytime, as
well as everything that happens remains confidential unless both parties have
another agreement. Consider whether you should have separate meetings with each
party to develop a better understanding of the issues before mediating a joint
agreement.
2. Reconstruction and Understanding the
Conflict
Listen to the
participants stories, whether together or separately, and clarify what they
want to achieve from the process. If you are meeting both participants
together, it is helpful if you can summarise the main points of conflict in a
neutral way that both can agree upon. It
can also be helpful at this stage to name the emotions that participants are
feeling, to show that they have been recognised and understood.
3. Defining Points of Agreement and Dispute
Move towards a
position where they start to understand each other’s point of view, and can
then begin to resolve a shared problem. One way to do this is to think of
it as moving from a focus on the past to one on the future. It’s extremely
powerful to reflect feelings back to the participants, as it shows both that
they have been heard. Don’t be afraid to suggest a break for coffee or a walk
outside, or even an adjournment to another day if you think things are getting
a bit heated.
4. Creating Options for Agreement
Identify the simplest
area, or the one on which there is most agreement, and suggest resolving that
first, to give a ‘quick win’. Useful techniques for developing options
include brainstorming. At this stage – anything goes! You then need to help the
participants to develop evaluation criteria, which should ideally be objective
and in order of importance. Your role here is to make sure that all
participants are equally involved in generating options and developing
evaluation criteria, and that they cover all parts of the problem. Make sure
that you are reflecting their opinions and not your own. Once the options have
been discussed, you’ll need to guide them to a single solution that suits all
parties.
5. Developing an Agreement
Help the participants to achieve an agreement that is
specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound:
- Writing down the proposal and reading it back to them.
- Writing down individual points so they are clear and understood.
- Clarifying any general or vague points.
- Avoid legalistic language, and keep everything very simple.
- Summarise progress and next steps, including setting a deadline for any
future meetings, and identifying any remaining areas of difficulty, and options
for their resolution.
- Being positive about progress and the fact that everyone has remained
engaged.
- Offering your continued support as a mediator if required.
- Ensuring both parties sign the agreement then and there, and close the
meeting once agreement is reached.
Mediation is an effective method to help solve conflicts
that have gone beyond the negotiation stage. Contact
Cape Mediators for affordable, professional mediation services!
