What Mediators Do and Don’t Do

When normal strategies aren’t helping you fix your problem, the best idea is to turn to mediation.  Mediation is a cheap, personal way of solving conflicts in a civilised manner.

Here’s what mediators do and don’t do:

What Mediators Do...

Mediators play a neutral role as they try to resolve a conflict you are involved in. Their job is to just assist you to understand, not to take sides! Mediators will lay down ground rules, ask questions, help you find the issues and encourage everyone to brainstorm solutions.

What Mediators Don’t Do...

Mediators do not make the decisions for you or the other person involved in the dispute. They will keep everything confidential and never speak to others about your mediation, unless you give them permission. A mediator will avoid picking sides or choosing you is right or wrong, and there is no point in you trying to persuade the mediator to pick your side.

Do you want to refer a dispute? Cape Mediators can help you out! Visit the website here, or contact them today - mike@capemediators.co.za

When is the Best Time for Mediation?

When is the best time for you to attend mediation? Well, there is no specific time, but there are a variety of factors that affect whether or not the two people can reach an agreement.

Some of these factors include – your emotional state, gathering of information and costs.

Emotions

When the matter concerns divorce or children, people may experience a lot of emotions. Emotions can mess with rational thinking, judgements and cause one or both people involved in the mediation to not be able to come to an agreement.

When you decide you need the help of a mediator, always think about your emotions first.

As hard as it may be to consider the other person involved, you also have to consider their emotional state, because you can’t reach an agreement in mediation by yourself.

Information & Documents

When trying to reach an agreement, outside information is also needed. Some of the information and documents may include: bank statements, receipts, pay checks and even tax returns. Agreements and negotiations will go a lot smoother if you have the needed information at hand.

Always take some time before you schedule your mediation session to think about the information and documents you need and if it will benefit your mediation process.

Costs

The sooner you decide to use mediation, the less money you will waste on attorney’s fees and court costs.

If you attend more than one session, an early mediation can reduce the number of issues that need to be agreed on and the amount of information and documents that need to be obtained.

Remember, there is no set time you must mediate, but consider emotions, the gathering of outside information, and the costs of litigation when you are planning to mediate.

If you are ready to schedule mediation, do not hesitate to contact Cape Mediators today!

Using Mediation for Landlord-Tenant Disputes

If negotiation seems like a waste of time, or you've tried talking with your landlord and just can't resolve a problem, consider enlisting the help of a neutral third-party mediator. Even if your landlord won’t speak to you on the phone, a skilled and experienced mediator may get him to the table. 




A lot of the time people confuse mediation with arbitration. While both are no judicial ways to solve disputes, there’s a huge difference between them:

Arbitration, like a lawsuit, results in a binding decision handed down by the arbitrator, who’s like a judge.

Mediators, by contrast, have no power to impose a decision. Their job is simply to help the parties work out a mutually acceptable solution to their dispute. Put another way, if you and your landlord don’t agree on a solution, there is no solution. However, if both sides desire to craft a resolution that both want to be binding, they can do so.


Mediation can make especially good sense if:

** Your landlord doesn’t realize what a poor job the resident manager or management company has been doing, and you want the opportunity to bring this up.


** You are dealing with a good or at least halfway decent landlord, and you think there’s hope for resolution.


** You think the landlord is savvy enough to want to avoid a protracted court battle.


Many people are surprised to learn that mediation really does work. One big reason is the cooperative spirit that emerges.

By agreeing to mediate a dispute in the first place, you and the landlord implicitly agree to solve your own problems. Also, the fact that no judge or arbitrator has the power to impose what may be an unacceptable solution reduces fear and defensiveness on both sides. This, in turn, often means both landlord and tenant take less extreme—and more conciliatory—positions!

Looking for the assistance of a experienced, professional mediator in the Cape Town area? Contact Cape Mediators today! Call 082 422 3324 or pop us an email on mike@capemediators.co.za

Why Couples Are Choosing Mediation in Divorce Cases

Divorces are stressful and can cause also sorts of emotional and physical problems ranging from headaches, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, disruption of sleep patterns, psychosomatic illnesses, back aches and other ailments.

The finality and realization that a marriage is over hits everyone differently and everyone reacts to divorce in their own way.  Experts compare divorce to a death and the bereavement stages of anger, fear, loss, sadness and healing that accompany death.  Even if you are the one who initiates the divorce, you still may have unresolved emotional issues about ending the marriage that surface during the divorce negotiations or later.

Anger and disappointment are common feelings that may arise during divorce negotiations. In fact, many times the parties have a hard time communicating with each other about settling divorce issues such as division of property, child custody, visitation and spousal and child support issues.

Besides seeking the support of family, friends and profession advice, a number of couples are opting for divorce mediation to resolve their divorce issues in order to avoid the stress of a costly and lengthy divorce trial.

Looking for professional, reliable mediation services at an affordable price? Contact Cape Mediators at mike@capemediators.co.za or give us a call on 082 422 3324!

What Kinds of Cases Can Be Mediated?

Mediation is available in most non-criminal matters. However, some non-violent criminal cases, like those involving verbal harassment, often result in a successful resolution during mediation. Claims that do not involve a legal issue are also good candidates for mediation. For example, a dispute with a neighbour over an encroaching bush or the brightness of their outdoor lights is hardly the type of claim that merits a lawsuit. In this type of situation, it may be wise to seek mediation to end the conflict.

Mediation cases often involve conflict arising in divorce and child custody issues and in disputes between family members, neighbours, business partners, landlords and tenants, and labour unions and management. 

Advantages of Mediation

In some situations, mediation may be preferable to filing a lawsuit. Mediation provides the following advantages:

Confidentiality. There are a few exceptions, but what the parties say during mediation is confidential and not subject to the future use in a lawsuit. Court cases, on the other hand, are matters of public record.

Costs less than a lawsuit. Mediation cases cost substantially less than court costs and attorney fees.

Faster resolution than going to court. Lawsuits may take years to result in a court ruling, but mediation can take as little as a few hours or a few sessions.

The parties decide. The parties in mediation, not a judge or jury, decide on the resolution.

The parties communicate directly. Rather than communicating through lawyers, the parties speak directly to each other.

Do you want to refer a dispute? Cape Mediators can help you out - simply visit the website here...

Tenant’s Rights: When to Hire a Mediator

Many issues tenants face are minor and can be easily resolved by common sense. Some issues, however, can seriously threaten your enjoyment of your rental -- or worse, your ability to stay in the rental at all. In these situations, getting a mediator's help may be the most effective, affordable way to protect your rights.

Below is a guide to determining whether you need the help of a mediator or not. If you find yourself in one of the following situations, consider contacting Cape Mediators.

Your Landlord is Evicting You

If your landlord serves you with a termination notice that you intend to fight, hiring a mediator can help you to settle the disagreement in a civilized way. A seasoned, skilled mediator can come up with effective strategies or creative solutions that you might not be aware of.

Your Landlord Discriminates Against You

If you believe your landlord is discriminating against you, you may need a mediator to step in and help you recover damages for any harm you suffered.

Your Landlord Won't Make Necessary Repairs

If your landlord isn't fulfilling important obligations under your lease and the law, it can lead to major problems. For example, think of the landlord who keeps putting off needed heating system repairs until winter is well under way, or the landlord who ignores a ground-floor tenant's requests to replace a broken window until a burglary occurs.

Consulting a mediator may be your best move. In addition, a mediator can attempt to communicate with the landlord for you, explore the possibility of a quick settlement, and sort the disagreement out in an appropriate manner.

Your Landlord Isn't Fulfilling His Promises

Sometimes, landlords make promises to encourage hesitant applicants to rent from them. For example, if an applicant is concerned about the neighbourhood crime rate, a landlord might promise to install a more effective intercom system or an electronic, gated parking lot. If the landlord later refuses to honour the promise, you may need to sit down with a mediator.

If you are in need of a mediator, choose one with expertise in landlord-tenant matters. Go straight to capemediators.co.za and contact them today!

When to Divorce: 7 Signs You Need to Get Out

Divorce is a difficult decision to make, but sometimes it can be the only healthy option. If you think it might be time to end your marriage, there are various signs that you can look for to determine when to divorce.

This guide will explain the basic signs that you need a divorce, helping you make an informed decision about when it’s time for divorce mediation.

1) Excessive Negative Interactions

Social psychologists have known for years that it’s not necessarily the severity of disagreements but the quantity that indicates the need for a divorce. The magic ratio in any happy relationship is five positive interactions for every one negative interaction. You know when to divorce partially by weighing your positive interactions against the negative ones. This advice contradicts the popular misconception that small arguments are insignificant as indicators of marital problems. If you find that you have significantly more negative interactions with your partner than positive interactions, it may be a sign that you need a divorce and should contact a mediator.

2) Argument Severity

Even the magic ratio has its limitations. The existence of more positive interactions than negative ones should not be taken as proof that you don’t need a divorce. Very severe and hurtful arguments are one of the most crucial signs to get a divorce. Many couples don’t know when to divorce and stay in unhealthy relationships because they rarely argue, ignoring the fact that those arguments are filled with hurtful or abusive behaviours. The severity of arguments can be an indication that you need a divorce, particularly if the arguments tend to devolve into personal insults rather than topical disagreement. Arguing about things is a normal part of any marriage, but it should not be a frequent occurrence, and you should never feel devalued by the other person during the argument.

3) Different Values

While people with different belief systems often manage to maintain successful marriages, those couples tend to do so by finding common ground in shared values. Knowing when to divorce revolves around knowing when you reach a point where your core values are so different from your partner’s that you will never be able to find common ground. For example, if one partner greatly values having a large family, while the other puts a higher value on achieving career success, it is likely that they will eventually need a divorce unless those values change. Sometimes knowing when to divorce requires looking toward the future and determining whether each person’s idea of what that future looks like is acceptable to the other. If your partner wants a future you could never be happy with, it may be a sign you need a divorce.

4) Marriage Counselling Isn’t Working

Marriage counselling is a great way to work on your problems and receive the invaluable input of an objective third party with training in dispute resolution. Numerous marriages are saved each year through marriage counselling, but both partners must be equally committed to the process for marriage counselling to work. If you have been involved in marriage counselling for at least several months with no signs of progress, that standstill can be a strong indicator of when to divorce. Knowing when to divorce requires first making an effort to fix the problems in the marriage so neither party has regrets.

5) Unfaithfulness

One of the most crucial indicators of when to divorce is if one or both partners have gone outside the marriage to pursue another relationship. While some couples manage to recover from the pain that an affair causes, others take it as validation that they need to end it. Even after a major issue such as an affair, knowing when to divorce is still largely a matter of timing. Marriage counselling can help you determine whether your marriage can survive an affair, or whether you should start thinking about when to divorce. Unfaithfulness destroys the trust in a relationship, so often marriage counselling is not enough to rebuild that trust, and a divorce becomes the only option.

6) Other Signs to Get a Divorce

It may seem strange, but many people consult a divorce attorney before they have made a decision about when to divorce. Some couples even talk to a mediator while they are pursuing marriage counselling. Your mediator has likely worked with hundreds of couples over the years and may be able to provide you with information on when to divorce and whether your situation can be solved with divorce or a separation. Your mediator may even recommend a temporary separation to give both parties some breathing room.

7) Emotional Exhaustion

Emotional exhaustion is often the final sign that you need a divorce. When you go through marriage counselling, apply all the techniques to your relationship, and you still feel drained, a divorce can be the only way to salvage your emotional health. When one or both parties check out of the relationship emotionally, it means that there is very little chance that you will be able to find a solution to your marital problems. Marriage requires a commitment from both parties, so one of the most reliable signs for when to divorce is when one or both partners have given up.

 

Mediation is the art of finding a middle ground solution to seemingly unfathomable problems. It is used in contractual and divorce disputes among others - Contact Cape Mediators today!