Planning your Wedding vs. Planning your Divorce

It’s basically a sin to say those both in the same sentence; however both require collective input as well as collective involvement.

Divorce is seen as a dirty word. It is ugly, feels pretty terrible and is not usually as well planned for as a wedding, but it is a reality in many of our lives.

There is life after going through a divorce and we can assist you in going through the steps in the most peaceful way possible. Simple call Cape Mediators on 082 422 3324 or email mike@capemediators.co.za for reliable, affordable divorce mediation.

A mediated divorce allows both parties to own the process themselves and not hand their destiny over to lawyers and ultimately to the court to decide the final outcome, which can sometimes take a few long and painful years. Mediation allows both parties to seek a mutual agreement whilst allowing the emotional standing of the parties to be processed. The mediation process has extremely positive healing attributes for life after divorce.

 “I’ve had enough” and “I just want this to be over with” are quotes that are heard far too often. Yes, you can sit back and just let the lawyers sort it out, but at what cost?

You’ll lose precious years of your life as well as a lot of money while the lawyers are busy lawyering. In reality life goes on and emotions can run high, affecting your work life and productivity. Do not allow yourself to take this huge emotional risk, especially if you have little ones to worry about.

Conflict is destructive, no matter what the circumstances may be, so afford yourself the opportunity to attempt to resolve it in a peaceful manner (mediation) and you will be thankful for the rest of your life.

What you need to know about Divorce Mediation in South Africa

When it comes to divorce, the proceedings that follow are usually unnecessarily long, expensive and full of negative emotions.

But why? Because one or both parties cannot come to an agreement about certain factors of the divorce settlement.

The most common factors are maintenance payments, child custody and the division of assets.

This is where mediation comes into the picture. Mediators are trained professionals who are often skilled in a range of mediation services including landlord/tenant mediation, labour disputes, mediation of contractual disputes and the most popular – divorce mediation.

By using a professional mediator, both parties will be assisted in putting aside their emotions and make decisions that will help to bring them to a resolution that is peaceful and accepted by both parties.

The process of mediation is confidential, private and saves both time and money. It also allows both parties involved to communicate with each and try and find a resolution based on their needs.

Would you really want to spend years of your life fighting over a divorce when you can contact a professional mediator and get it done within a few short months?

If you would like help or advice with a divorce please be sure to contact Cape Mediators today. Email mike@capemediators.co.za or give us a call on 082 422 3324 to book your session. Please note that our practice is based in Cape Town, South Africa. Should you require advice on selecting a mediator outside of Cape Town, please contact us and we will gladly provide you with a referral.

Is your Partner Cheating?

Marriages can be destroyed when it comes to cheating; this is why you need to know the certain signs that could catch your attention. Discovering your spouse is cheating is an awful experience; don’t make it worse by wasting your time and money on a lawyer – contact Cape Mediators today and we can settle your divorce in a peaceful manner.

Here are the 7 most common signs that may reveal that your partner is cheating...

Password Protection – These days it is vital to protect your phone, laptop, email, etc. with passwords. However if he is suddenly changing all his passwords or implementing passwords where he never was before then this could be a sign that he is hiding something.

Cellphone Guarding – If he all of a sudden starts spending more time glued to his cell phone and he won’t even let you touch it then something might be up. Some signs could include: sleeping with his phone right next to the bed, taking it into the shower with him, leaving the room to answer the phone when it rings.

Physical Appearance – Don’t jump to conclusions because this one could be nothing, but it should still be considered. Did he suddenly go from wearing jeans and a t-shirt to fancy suits and shiny shoes? Or maybe he’s wearing new cologne that you’ve never smelled before? This could be a sign of a mistress.

No More Intimacy – He may not reject your upfront, but when you reject him he may just agree with you instead of fighting them like he would usually do in the past.

Social Activities – Be aware when your partner is all of a sudden going out of town or attending social gatherings more often than usual. A business meeting or party is a common excuse! Also take note when he starts new hobbies without you, such as training three times a week for a marathon, but you never actually see him do it.

More Gifts – Partners who are unfaithful will try to cover up their feelings of guilt by buying you gifts. If you are surprised about how much your partner is spoiling you lately then you might want to find out what the reason behind it is.

Social Media Profiles – If your partner is cheating their social media profiles may start to look very different. There will be less photos of you two together and more solo shots or group pictures, this is a warning sign and you should be aware of how much time they’re spending on social media.

While these are the classic signs, it doesn’t mean that they’re always 100% accurate. Be careful to avoid accusing them and instead sit down and have a talk.

Why is Mediation Better than Arbitration?

Most of the time mediation and arbitration are mentioned together because both can be used instead of litigation. However they are two very different things and mediation is considered to be a better option. 

Here’s why...

TIME – Using arbitration to resolve a conflict or dispute is much faster than going to court, however mediation is faster. If you use mediation, your problem will be resolved in a fraction of the time that arbitration takes; sometimes it even takes as little as one day to completely settle the case.

MONEY – Arbitration may require an arm and a leg as you will need to hire an attorney and then the arbitrators also need to be paid. When using mediation you will almost always save a lot of money. Why? Because the sessions don’t take as long as arbitration so the bills will be much smaller.

FACTS – Arbitration mostly concentrates on finding the facts and uncovering the truth, while mediation likes to emphasize on the future by moving past the conflict and coming to a mutual agreement.

OUTCOME – During arbitration, a ruling will be made that is binding to both parties, so you will have no control of the outcome. In mediation, the parties will determine the outcome by working together with the mediator to come up with a resolution.

Looking for mediation services in Cape Town at an affordable price? Contact Cape Mediators on 082 422 3324 or pop an email to mike@capemediators.co.za

What Mediators Do and Don’t Do

When normal strategies aren’t helping you fix your problem, the best idea is to turn to mediation.  Mediation is a cheap, personal way of solving conflicts in a civilised manner.

Here’s what mediators do and don’t do:

What Mediators Do...

Mediators play a neutral role as they try to resolve a conflict you are involved in. Their job is to just assist you to understand, not to take sides! Mediators will lay down ground rules, ask questions, help you find the issues and encourage everyone to brainstorm solutions.

What Mediators Don’t Do...

Mediators do not make the decisions for you or the other person involved in the dispute. They will keep everything confidential and never speak to others about your mediation, unless you give them permission. A mediator will avoid picking sides or choosing you is right or wrong, and there is no point in you trying to persuade the mediator to pick your side.

Do you want to refer a dispute? Cape Mediators can help you out! Visit the website here, or contact them today - mike@capemediators.co.za