What skills does a Mediator need to have?

One of the great things about mediation is that the mediator does not make all the decisions, they are simply there to make sure the parties involved are working together to come to a fair agreement.

Here are some of the most important skills a professional mediator needs to have:

1. Great listen skills.

2. Questioning skills in order to understand the facts as well as the controversy.

3. Emotional intelligence.

4. Summarising skills to ensure that all the main points are set out and to assist both parties to look at issues in a less emotional way.

5. A lot of empathy!

Perhaps one of the most important skills a mediator needs is the ability to not take anyone's side and to act completely fairly. This means a mediator needs to spend an equal amount of time with each person involved to hear their side of the story as well as what issues they are facing.

As a mediator, it is never a good idea to point out that one of the parties involved is being unfair. That is why they need assistance from a mutual party… Overall mediators assist with helping parties take a reality check so they can put their emotions aside and come to a reasonable, agreed upon outcome.

Looking for professional, reliable mediation services at an affordable price? Don't hesitate to contact Cape Mediators today! Give us a call on 082 422 3324 or email mike@capemediators.co.za

Planning your Wedding vs. Planning your Divorce

It’s basically a sin to say those both in the same sentence; however both require collective input as well as collective involvement.

Divorce is seen as a dirty word. It is ugly, feels pretty terrible and is not usually as well planned for as a wedding, but it is a reality in many of our lives.

There is life after going through a divorce and we can assist you in going through the steps in the most peaceful way possible. Simple call Cape Mediators on 082 422 3324 or email mike@capemediators.co.za for reliable, affordable divorce mediation.

A mediated divorce allows both parties to own the process themselves and not hand their destiny over to lawyers and ultimately to the court to decide the final outcome, which can sometimes take a few long and painful years. Mediation allows both parties to seek a mutual agreement whilst allowing the emotional standing of the parties to be processed. The mediation process has extremely positive healing attributes for life after divorce.

 “I’ve had enough” and “I just want this to be over with” are quotes that are heard far too often. Yes, you can sit back and just let the lawyers sort it out, but at what cost?

You’ll lose precious years of your life as well as a lot of money while the lawyers are busy lawyering. In reality life goes on and emotions can run high, affecting your work life and productivity. Do not allow yourself to take this huge emotional risk, especially if you have little ones to worry about.

Conflict is destructive, no matter what the circumstances may be, so afford yourself the opportunity to attempt to resolve it in a peaceful manner (mediation) and you will be thankful for the rest of your life.

3 important factors that affect Mediation

Is now the time to attend mediation? Well, there are no specific times; however you’ll have to look at a range of important factors that will affect whether both parties can come to a mutual agreement.

Emotional state, gathering of important information and overall cost are the most vital factors when it comes to mediation…

Emotions – Parties involved in a dispute may experience a lot of emotions, especially when it comes to matters like children and divorce. Your emotional state can mess with rational thinking, judgements and coming to an overall agreement. Should you need the assistance of a professional mediator, always think about your emotional state first as well as the other parties involved.

Information – When both parties are trying to come to a resolution, outside information such as bank statements, pay checks and receipts are also needed. The mediation session will run a lot smoother if everyone has the correct information on hand.

Costs – Choosing mediation is the most affordable decision to make and you’ll avoid wasting money on attorney fees and court costs. Not only is mediation affordable for everyone, but it can take as little as a month to resolve the problem compared to spending years fighting over a dispute in court.

Remember there is no set time to mediate, but consider emotions, the gathering of outside information, and the costs of litigation when you are planning to contact a professional mediator.

If you are ready to schedule your mediation session, do not hesitate to contact Cape Mediators today on 082 422 3324 or email mike@capemediators.co.za

The Two Essential Tricks that make Mediation Work

Mediation is often a better option for conflict resolution – why? Because it is faster, affordable and it allows both parties to come to a mutually-acceptable resolution in a way that the courts simply cannot do.

Here are the top two essential tricks that may not be the norm, but they always work.

Never argue about who is right – The main goal of mediation is not to argue until there is a winner, but to come to an agreement that both parties agree on. Usually, in the case of mediation, both parties are well aware of the facts and the legal issues and have had enough time to become familiar with the case. So, arguing is just a time consuming, expensive act that can unnecessarily anger both parties and cause the attention to drift away from the overall goal of settlement.

Leave the hard issues for last – If both parties would like to settle the conflict and come to an agreement then the best thing to focus on first is always money, while leaving the harder issues for later. Once the key term has been agreed on, the parties involved will feel more at ease and some momentum will be created. In mediation deals can often fall apart when the harder issues are out on the table right up front, so consider leaving the more difficult issues until the end.

Mediation is an alternative way to resolve conflicts, such as landlord/tenant resolution, labour and contractual disputes as well as divorce settlements. Be sure to contact Cape Mediators today: email mike@capemediators.co.za or give us a call on 082 422 3324 to book your session.

8 Important Tips on how to Prepare for your Mediation

Mediation is a great way to resolve disputes and come to an agreement, however to achieve a settlement that both parties are happy with, you will need to prepare for you mediation effectively.

Here are 8 important tips to keep in mind when you are preparing for your day of mediation…

1. Identify key interests – Your key interests in the disputes may be more than just working out your claims, it could include preserving a business relationship and even avoid too much publicity.

2. Make the first offer – The party that makes the first offer tends to come out happier when the final settlement is reached.  Seize the initiative and make the first offer.

3. Get an estimate of the costs of litigation – It is a good idea to get a cost estimate and see what you will have to pay should you decide not to settle. Keep this in mind when you are making your decision.

4. Explain your main points before the session starts – Focus on the main points and don’t be afraid to express your emotions, whether it is sadness, happiness, anger, etc. Real emotions can help the other party understand your position.

5. Make sure there is nothing preventing you from making a deal – Arrange all funding in advance before the mediation even begins and should you need legal advice, make sure to do so before the day of the mediation.

6. Be ready to talk face to face – Often parties may find this uncomfortable, but it can often help out the situation. When you are preparing think about how you will handle the situation and what you’ll say.

7. Think about how you will prepare your position – Never make bare demands, especially with no explanation. Explain your position in details so that the other party will understand why you want something.

8. Treat your mediator like a colleague – Always remember that your private discussion with a mediator are confidential and will never be revealed to the other party. So confide in your mediator about everything!

We offer mediation that is both affordable and an effective way to resolve conflicts and disputes. Be sure to contact Cape Mediators today: email mike@capemediators.co.za or give us a call on 082 422 3324 to book your session.

10 Steps to prepare yourself for Mediation

The mediation process differs for everyone, however the following guidelines can help you to prepare for what to expect and how to prepare yourself for mediation…

By using these 10 steps, you’ll be more likely to solve your dispute in a satisfying, civilised manner.

1. Always make sure that both parties are present as well as the mediator and everyone is informed on the dispute at hand.

2. Expect the unexpected and be willing to accept any new information or developments that come up.

3. Listen during the mediation session and focus on the problem you are trying to resolve, not the people involved.

4. Do not use the same tactics that are used in litigation. There is no need to do anything unnecessary and potentially offensive.

5. Spend a bit of time thinking, planning and discussing your approach during the mediation session.

6. Think outside the box and try to look at the issue you are trying to resolve through the eyes of the opposite party involved.

7. Build your pre-mediation preparation by being aware of how you are perceived and how your position invites or denies resolving the dispute.

8. All mediation briefs and materials should be completed before the mediation takes place. Of course you should also know your materials well and be ready to explain and clarify anything.

9. Never underestimate the ability of the other part involved. It is best to get through the mediation as a team and resolved the conflict together then to just spectate from the side-lines.

10.  Think about your strategy in negotiation, review what mediation processes you prefer as well as what you will say and do to get through the dispute.

The only way to get through mediation successfully is to well-prepared in advance as well as to be willing to deal with any issues and questions raised by the mediator or the opposite party.

Mediation is an alternative way to resolve conflicts, such as landlord/tenant resolution, labor and contractual disputes, and divorce settlements. Be sure to contact Cape Mediators today: email mike@capemediators.co.za or give us a call on 082 422 3324 to book your session.

What does the Mediation Process involve?

In this day and age mediation is used far and wide, and there is rarely a case that is not suitable for mediation!

But what does the mediation process involve? Well, both parties will choose their own process, although mediation does follow it's own pattern in general. It is a process that is completely confidential without any prejudice from the mediator. Many people steer towards mediation because of the fact that it stays away from the court room and allows you to express yourself freely.

A mediator is a neutral person that assists both parties to come to an agreement or settlement. A good mediator is not a judge, but a person that can test both parties and highlight strengths and weaknesses in order to some to a settlement where both parties are happy.

However, the decision to settle is made by the parties. They cannot be forced to settle and will only settle if the terms of that settlement have been agreed.

That is why it is always important to have someone empowered to make a final decision on settlement attending the mediation. There is nothing more frustrating than reaching a deal in principle but then having to adjourn because the decision has to be referred back to someone who is not present.

Mediation is a tried and tested way to resolve conflicts and disputes, including those which are complex and high value.

This is why mediation is seen as a more peaceful and accepted solution that ends and resolves conflicts of any magnitude.

Mediation is an alternative way to resolve conflicts, such as landlord/tenant resolution, labor and contractual disputes, and divorce settlements. Be sure to contact Cape Mediators today: email mike@capemediators.co.za or give us a call on 082 422 3324 to book your session!

Why should you use Workplace Mediation?

There are many advantages of workplace mediation, one of them being that the issue is solved informally, in a civilised manner with both parties being heard equally by the mediator.

As both parties sit down and work together to find a fair solution, the end result is in the hands of the participants. Both parties are committed to the same thing – agreeing on an effective, long-lasting solution.

When it comes to workplace mediation, these are some of the situations that may arise:

-- There are clashes between people who have problems working together and simply do not get along.

-- A once happy working relationship has fallen apart.

-- Employees have become bitter and there are grievances because of a disciplinary procedure.

-- Someone in the workplace has been accused of sexual harassment.

Workplace mediation follows the following principles…

      ·         It is a fair, voluntary process where both parties must agree to be a part of the mediation.

      ·         Anyone who wants to withdraw from the mediation can do so at any time.

      ·         The mediation is confidential unless the parties agree otherwise.

      ·         It is a fast process that can begin whenever all parties are ready.

      ·         The mediator is always neutral.

The main purpose of mediation is to let each person involved with the dispute the opportunity to be heard and work together to find a solution.

Do you think you may need to contact a mediator for workplace mediation? To book your session, contact Cape Mediators in Cape Town today on 082 422 3324 or email mike@capemediators.co.za

Tenant vs. Landlord Mediation

Most tenant / landlord issues are small and can be fixed easily and with a little common sense. However, some bigger issues can seriously destroy the enjoyment of where you're living and possibly cause it to come to an end! In these situations, getting a mediator's help may be the most effective, affordable way to protect your rights.

Below is a guide to determining whether you need the help of a mediator or not. If you find yourself in one of the following situations, consider contacting Cape Mediators.

Your Landlord is Evicting You

If your landlord serves you with a termination notice that you intend to fight, hiring a mediator can help you to settle the disagreement in a civilized way. A seasoned, skilled mediator can come up with effective strategies or creative solutions that you might not be aware of.

Your Landlord Discriminates Against You

If you believe your landlord is discriminating against you, you may need a mediator to step in and help you recover damages for any harm you suffered.

Your Landlord Won't Make Necessary Repairs

If your landlord isn't fulfilling important obligations under your lease and the law, it can lead to major problems. For example, think of the landlord who keeps putting off needed heating system repairs until winter is well under way, or the landlord who ignores a ground-floor tenant's requests to replace a broken window until a burglary occurs.

Consulting a mediator may be your best move. In addition, a mediator can attempt to communicate with the landlord for you, explore the possibility of a quick settlement, and sort the disagreement out in an appropriate manner.

Your Landlord Isn't Fulfilling His Promises

Sometimes, landlords make promises to encourage hesitant applicants to rent from them. For example, if an applicant is concerned about the neighbourhood crime rate, a landlord might promise to install a more effective intercom system or an electronic, gated parking lot. If the landlord later refuses to honour the promise, you may need to sit down with a mediator.

If you are in need of a mediator, choose one with expertise in landlord-tenant matters. Go straight to capemediators.co.za and contact them today!

Is your Partner Cheating?

Marriages can be destroyed when it comes to cheating; this is why you need to know the certain signs that could catch your attention. Discovering your spouse is cheating is an awful experience; don’t make it worse by wasting your time and money on a lawyer – contact Cape Mediators today and we can settle your divorce in a peaceful manner.

Here are the 7 most common signs that may reveal that your partner is cheating...

Password Protection – These days it is vital to protect your phone, laptop, email, etc. with passwords. However if he is suddenly changing all his passwords or implementing passwords where he never was before then this could be a sign that he is hiding something.

Cellphone Guarding – If he all of a sudden starts spending more time glued to his cell phone and he won’t even let you touch it then something might be up. Some signs could include: sleeping with his phone right next to the bed, taking it into the shower with him, leaving the room to answer the phone when it rings.

Physical Appearance – Don’t jump to conclusions because this one could be nothing, but it should still be considered. Did he suddenly go from wearing jeans and a t-shirt to fancy suits and shiny shoes? Or maybe he’s wearing new cologne that you’ve never smelled before? This could be a sign of a mistress.

No More Intimacy – He may not reject your upfront, but when you reject him he may just agree with you instead of fighting them like he would usually do in the past.

Social Activities – Be aware when your partner is all of a sudden going out of town or attending social gatherings more often than usual. A business meeting or party is a common excuse! Also take note when he starts new hobbies without you, such as training three times a week for a marathon, but you never actually see him do it.

More Gifts – Partners who are unfaithful will try to cover up their feelings of guilt by buying you gifts. If you are surprised about how much your partner is spoiling you lately then you might want to find out what the reason behind it is.

Social Media Profiles – If your partner is cheating their social media profiles may start to look very different. There will be less photos of you two together and more solo shots or group pictures, this is a warning sign and you should be aware of how much time they’re spending on social media.

While these are the classic signs, it doesn’t mean that they’re always 100% accurate. Be careful to avoid accusing them and instead sit down and have a talk.

When is the Best Time for Mediation?

When is the best time for you to attend mediation? Well, there is no specific time, but there are a variety of factors that affect whether or not the two people can reach an agreement.

Some of these factors include – your emotional state, gathering of information and costs.

Emotions

When the matter concerns divorce or children, people may experience a lot of emotions. Emotions can mess with rational thinking, judgements and cause one or both people involved in the mediation to not be able to come to an agreement.

When you decide you need the help of a mediator, always think about your emotions first.

As hard as it may be to consider the other person involved, you also have to consider their emotional state, because you can’t reach an agreement in mediation by yourself.

Information & Documents

When trying to reach an agreement, outside information is also needed. Some of the information and documents may include: bank statements, receipts, pay checks and even tax returns. Agreements and negotiations will go a lot smoother if you have the needed information at hand.

Always take some time before you schedule your mediation session to think about the information and documents you need and if it will benefit your mediation process.

Costs

The sooner you decide to use mediation, the less money you will waste on attorney’s fees and court costs.

If you attend more than one session, an early mediation can reduce the number of issues that need to be agreed on and the amount of information and documents that need to be obtained.

Remember, there is no set time you must mediate, but consider emotions, the gathering of outside information, and the costs of litigation when you are planning to mediate.

If you are ready to schedule mediation, do not hesitate to contact Cape Mediators today!

Tenant’s Rights: When to Hire a Mediator

Many issues tenants face are minor and can be easily resolved by common sense. Some issues, however, can seriously threaten your enjoyment of your rental -- or worse, your ability to stay in the rental at all. In these situations, getting a mediator's help may be the most effective, affordable way to protect your rights.

Below is a guide to determining whether you need the help of a mediator or not. If you find yourself in one of the following situations, consider contacting Cape Mediators.

Your Landlord is Evicting You

If your landlord serves you with a termination notice that you intend to fight, hiring a mediator can help you to settle the disagreement in a civilized way. A seasoned, skilled mediator can come up with effective strategies or creative solutions that you might not be aware of.

Your Landlord Discriminates Against You

If you believe your landlord is discriminating against you, you may need a mediator to step in and help you recover damages for any harm you suffered.

Your Landlord Won't Make Necessary Repairs

If your landlord isn't fulfilling important obligations under your lease and the law, it can lead to major problems. For example, think of the landlord who keeps putting off needed heating system repairs until winter is well under way, or the landlord who ignores a ground-floor tenant's requests to replace a broken window until a burglary occurs.

Consulting a mediator may be your best move. In addition, a mediator can attempt to communicate with the landlord for you, explore the possibility of a quick settlement, and sort the disagreement out in an appropriate manner.

Your Landlord Isn't Fulfilling His Promises

Sometimes, landlords make promises to encourage hesitant applicants to rent from them. For example, if an applicant is concerned about the neighbourhood crime rate, a landlord might promise to install a more effective intercom system or an electronic, gated parking lot. If the landlord later refuses to honour the promise, you may need to sit down with a mediator.

If you are in need of a mediator, choose one with expertise in landlord-tenant matters. Go straight to capemediators.co.za and contact them today!

What are the Benefits of Mediation?

Apart from the obvious benefits of helping you to reach an agreement by yourselves, this is the most cost effective way of sorting out what happens when you split up. Some mediators are independent and they simply aim at making a meaningful difference in people’s lives, like Cape Mediators. They will have lower charging rates than lawyer mediators.

Because you are involved in the discussions directly, and end up with an agreement, you know that the deal is one you can live with. You will have looked at all the options yourselves and you will know that what you have decided should have the best chance of working for you and your family.

With mediation, you are in the driving seat. The process empowers you – to gather the information about finances, for example, and to understand it; to discuss the options direct and to make decisions about them. A criticism of the legal process (particularly if courts are involved) is that decisions are made for you rather than by you – and those decisions are imposed on you.

You have to live with those decisions whether you like them or not.

Looking for professional, reliable mediation services at an affordable price? Contact Cape Mediators today!

The ins and outs of family mediation

Due to recent changes in government thinking, family mediation is becoming the preferred method to resolve and prevent family disputes, especially where children are involved.  Agreements that have been freely negotiated can help restore communication, understanding and trust.

- Family Mediation helps you resolve conflict and reach agreement on all issues surrounding separation, divorce or dissolution of civil partnership.

- It is a voluntary and confidential process which helps you reach joint decisions without the use of courts.

- It offers you a safe, neutral place where you and your ex-partner can meet with an impartial mediator to work out plans for the future.

- Mediators do not tell you what to do, but help you look at different options for sorting things out, so that you reach your own agreements about all aspects of your separation, divorce or dissolution, including arrangements for children, finances and property.

Who can use mediation?

- Mediation is open to anybody affected by family breakdown including separation, divorce and dissolution of civil partnership.

- It is mostly used by parents or couples who are experiencing difficulties agreeing arrangements, regardless of age, race, nationality, sexuality, orientation, mobility, faith and other such factors.

- Mediation is also available to other family members, such as grandparents, who may be having difficulties over contact arrangements, or step-parents who would like to support their new partner.

Cape Mediators are professionals with a wealth of skills and experience in family mediation and conflict resolution. We deliver mediation at the highest accredited standard – If you are seeking mediation please click here and fill in the form.

Contact Cape Mediators today!

What skills do you need as a Mediator?

A key aspect of mediation is that the mediator does not sort things out or make any decisions for the parties involved. Instead, he or she helps the parties involved work together to develop their own agreement.

A mediator needs a range of skills, including:

- Active listening skills;

- Questioning and clarifying skills to grasp both the facts and the areas of controversy;

- Emotional intelligence to understand the underlying emotions;

- Summarising skills to set out the main points of controversy, and underlying emotions, and also to help the participants to reframe issues in less emotive language;

- Empathy to help each party to stand in each other’s shoes and understand each other’s point of view.

Perhaps most importantly, a mediator must not take sides, or be seen to be acting unfairly. You will therefore need to acknowledge points made by both parties, and spend equal time with each person or on their issues.

It’s never going to help to point out that someone is being unreasonable, but you can help them take a reality check by asking what they would consider a reasonable outcome, and then asking whether they think the other party would agree.

Looking for professional, reliable mediation services at an affordable price? Don't hesitate to contact Cape Mediators today!