Is your Partner Cheating?

Marriages can be destroyed when it comes to cheating; this is why you need to know the certain signs that could catch your attention. Discovering your spouse is cheating is an awful experience; don’t make it worse by wasting your time and money on a lawyer – contact Cape Mediators today and we can settle your divorce in a peaceful manner.

Here are the 7 most common signs that may reveal that your partner is cheating...

Password Protection – These days it is vital to protect your phone, laptop, email, etc. with passwords. However if he is suddenly changing all his passwords or implementing passwords where he never was before then this could be a sign that he is hiding something.

Cellphone Guarding – If he all of a sudden starts spending more time glued to his cell phone and he won’t even let you touch it then something might be up. Some signs could include: sleeping with his phone right next to the bed, taking it into the shower with him, leaving the room to answer the phone when it rings.

Physical Appearance – Don’t jump to conclusions because this one could be nothing, but it should still be considered. Did he suddenly go from wearing jeans and a t-shirt to fancy suits and shiny shoes? Or maybe he’s wearing new cologne that you’ve never smelled before? This could be a sign of a mistress.

No More Intimacy – He may not reject your upfront, but when you reject him he may just agree with you instead of fighting them like he would usually do in the past.

Social Activities – Be aware when your partner is all of a sudden going out of town or attending social gatherings more often than usual. A business meeting or party is a common excuse! Also take note when he starts new hobbies without you, such as training three times a week for a marathon, but you never actually see him do it.

More Gifts – Partners who are unfaithful will try to cover up their feelings of guilt by buying you gifts. If you are surprised about how much your partner is spoiling you lately then you might want to find out what the reason behind it is.

Social Media Profiles – If your partner is cheating their social media profiles may start to look very different. There will be less photos of you two together and more solo shots or group pictures, this is a warning sign and you should be aware of how much time they’re spending on social media.

While these are the classic signs, it doesn’t mean that they’re always 100% accurate. Be careful to avoid accusing them and instead sit down and have a talk.

Why is Mediation Better than Arbitration?

Most of the time mediation and arbitration are mentioned together because both can be used instead of litigation. However they are two very different things and mediation is considered to be a better option. 

Here’s why...

TIME – Using arbitration to resolve a conflict or dispute is much faster than going to court, however mediation is faster. If you use mediation, your problem will be resolved in a fraction of the time that arbitration takes; sometimes it even takes as little as one day to completely settle the case.

MONEY – Arbitration may require an arm and a leg as you will need to hire an attorney and then the arbitrators also need to be paid. When using mediation you will almost always save a lot of money. Why? Because the sessions don’t take as long as arbitration so the bills will be much smaller.

FACTS – Arbitration mostly concentrates on finding the facts and uncovering the truth, while mediation likes to emphasize on the future by moving past the conflict and coming to a mutual agreement.

OUTCOME – During arbitration, a ruling will be made that is binding to both parties, so you will have no control of the outcome. In mediation, the parties will determine the outcome by working together with the mediator to come up with a resolution.

Looking for mediation services in Cape Town at an affordable price? Contact Cape Mediators on 082 422 3324 or pop an email to mike@capemediators.co.za

How to Prepare your Kids for Divorce

When you and your partner have decided it’s time to split up, one of the hardest conversations you’ll have to have is with your children.

You may feel anxiety, guilt, fear and shame, after all your children did nothing to deserve this.

How do you tell your child that their whole world is about to change, and how do you make them see that it is not their fault?

There are six key messages that are essential for every child to hear, understand and absorb. By sharing and repeating these six points to your children in the weeks and months following the initial conversation, you will enable them to better handle, accept and even embrace the challenges and changes they will soon be facing.

Here are the six must-tell messages for your children:

      1.       This is not your fault

      2.       We will always be your parents no matter what happens

      3.       You are safe, and you will continue to be safe

      4.       This is about making a change, not about blaming each other

      5.       In the end, everything will work out fine

      6.       Mom and dad will always love you!

If you feel that divorce is the right path for you to take then consider mediation. Mediation is the art of finding a middle ground solution to seemingly unfathomable problems. It is used in contractual and divorce disputes among others - Contact Cape Mediators today!

The Top Ten Rules for Mediation Success

Mediation is an alternative way to solve disputes, such as non-criminal cases. Divorce, lease disputes, child custody and labour disputes can all be solved through mediation.

When a mediation is successful, both parties involved will work together to find common ground and come to an agreement, with the help of a neutral mediator.

So what are the keys to keeping your mediation on the path toward a fair and agreeable resolution? Here are ten rules to follow. 

Rule 1 – All parties must participate in making decisions

Rule 2 – Important documents and papers must be physically present

Rule 3 – Be right, but only to a certain point

Rule 4 – Build a deal

Rule 5 – Treat both parties with respect

Rule 6 – Be persuasive

Rule 7 – Focus on interests

Rule 8 – Be a problem solver

Rule 9 – Work past any anger

Rule 10 – Always be patient

Looking for professional, reliable mediation services at an affordable price? Contact Cape Mediators today mike@capemediators.co.za or give us a call on 082 422 3324

What Mediators Do and Don’t Do

When normal strategies aren’t helping you fix your problem, the best idea is to turn to mediation.  Mediation is a cheap, personal way of solving conflicts in a civilised manner.

Here’s what mediators do and don’t do:

What Mediators Do...

Mediators play a neutral role as they try to resolve a conflict you are involved in. Their job is to just assist you to understand, not to take sides! Mediators will lay down ground rules, ask questions, help you find the issues and encourage everyone to brainstorm solutions.

What Mediators Don’t Do...

Mediators do not make the decisions for you or the other person involved in the dispute. They will keep everything confidential and never speak to others about your mediation, unless you give them permission. A mediator will avoid picking sides or choosing you is right or wrong, and there is no point in you trying to persuade the mediator to pick your side.

Do you want to refer a dispute? Cape Mediators can help you out! Visit the website here, or contact them today - mike@capemediators.co.za

When is the Best Time for Mediation?

When is the best time for you to attend mediation? Well, there is no specific time, but there are a variety of factors that affect whether or not the two people can reach an agreement.

Some of these factors include – your emotional state, gathering of information and costs.

Emotions

When the matter concerns divorce or children, people may experience a lot of emotions. Emotions can mess with rational thinking, judgements and cause one or both people involved in the mediation to not be able to come to an agreement.

When you decide you need the help of a mediator, always think about your emotions first.

As hard as it may be to consider the other person involved, you also have to consider their emotional state, because you can’t reach an agreement in mediation by yourself.

Information & Documents

When trying to reach an agreement, outside information is also needed. Some of the information and documents may include: bank statements, receipts, pay checks and even tax returns. Agreements and negotiations will go a lot smoother if you have the needed information at hand.

Always take some time before you schedule your mediation session to think about the information and documents you need and if it will benefit your mediation process.

Costs

The sooner you decide to use mediation, the less money you will waste on attorney’s fees and court costs.

If you attend more than one session, an early mediation can reduce the number of issues that need to be agreed on and the amount of information and documents that need to be obtained.

Remember, there is no set time you must mediate, but consider emotions, the gathering of outside information, and the costs of litigation when you are planning to mediate.

If you are ready to schedule mediation, do not hesitate to contact Cape Mediators today!

Using Mediation for Landlord-Tenant Disputes

If negotiation seems like a waste of time, or you've tried talking with your landlord and just can't resolve a problem, consider enlisting the help of a neutral third-party mediator. Even if your landlord won’t speak to you on the phone, a skilled and experienced mediator may get him to the table. 




A lot of the time people confuse mediation with arbitration. While both are no judicial ways to solve disputes, there’s a huge difference between them:

Arbitration, like a lawsuit, results in a binding decision handed down by the arbitrator, who’s like a judge.

Mediators, by contrast, have no power to impose a decision. Their job is simply to help the parties work out a mutually acceptable solution to their dispute. Put another way, if you and your landlord don’t agree on a solution, there is no solution. However, if both sides desire to craft a resolution that both want to be binding, they can do so.


Mediation can make especially good sense if:

** Your landlord doesn’t realize what a poor job the resident manager or management company has been doing, and you want the opportunity to bring this up.


** You are dealing with a good or at least halfway decent landlord, and you think there’s hope for resolution.


** You think the landlord is savvy enough to want to avoid a protracted court battle.


Many people are surprised to learn that mediation really does work. One big reason is the cooperative spirit that emerges.

By agreeing to mediate a dispute in the first place, you and the landlord implicitly agree to solve your own problems. Also, the fact that no judge or arbitrator has the power to impose what may be an unacceptable solution reduces fear and defensiveness on both sides. This, in turn, often means both landlord and tenant take less extreme—and more conciliatory—positions!

Looking for the assistance of a experienced, professional mediator in the Cape Town area? Contact Cape Mediators today! Call 082 422 3324 or pop us an email on mike@capemediators.co.za