What skills does a Mediator need to have?

One of the great things about mediation is that the mediator does not make all the decisions, they are simply there to make sure the parties involved are working together to come to a fair agreement.

Here are some of the most important skills a professional mediator needs to have:

1. Great listen skills.

2. Questioning skills in order to understand the facts as well as the controversy.

3. Emotional intelligence.

4. Summarising skills to ensure that all the main points are set out and to assist both parties to look at issues in a less emotional way.

5. A lot of empathy!

Perhaps one of the most important skills a mediator needs is the ability to not take anyone's side and to act completely fairly. This means a mediator needs to spend an equal amount of time with each person involved to hear their side of the story as well as what issues they are facing.

As a mediator, it is never a good idea to point out that one of the parties involved is being unfair. That is why they need assistance from a mutual party… Overall mediators assist with helping parties take a reality check so they can put their emotions aside and come to a reasonable, agreed upon outcome.

Looking for professional, reliable mediation services at an affordable price? Don't hesitate to contact Cape Mediators today! Give us a call on 082 422 3324 or email mike@capemediators.co.za

When is Mediation the correct solution to Workplace Disputes?

Mediation is often the solution when it comes to disciplinary issues, performance, behaviour and dismissals in the workplace. But, when is mediation the right approach to workplace conflict?

• The conflict / dispute is fairly moderate
• There are clear issues that have been identified and they can have a substantial result
• All parties have volunteered to participate
• There is no imbalance between the parties involved
• Participants are able to express themselves and their positions freely
• Total confidentiality is agreed on as well as privacy
• Both parties are interested in getting the matter resolved
• The company or organisation involved is prepared to provide support to the parties in the future and agrees to the resolution that has been reached

Mediation is all good and well, but the parties involved need to work hard alongside the mediator so that there is a successful outcome.

• So what are the ingredients of a successful mediation?
• Participants involved must believe that the conflict / dispute can be successfully resolved
• They are willing to resolve it and have an open mind about the mediation process
• Parties involved have insight and the ability to self-reflect
• Participants are ready to move on
• They have the ability and the capacity to listen to the other persons perspective or side of the story

Be sure to contact Cape Mediators today: email mike@capemediators.co.za or give us a call on 082 422 3324 to book your session. Please note that our practice is based in Cape Town, RSA. Should you require advice on selecting a mediator outside of Cape Town, please contact us and we will gladly provide you with a referral.

Planning your Wedding vs. Planning your Divorce

It’s basically a sin to say those both in the same sentence; however both require collective input as well as collective involvement.

Divorce is seen as a dirty word. It is ugly, feels pretty terrible and is not usually as well planned for as a wedding, but it is a reality in many of our lives.

There is life after going through a divorce and we can assist you in going through the steps in the most peaceful way possible. Simple call Cape Mediators on 082 422 3324 or email mike@capemediators.co.za for reliable, affordable divorce mediation.

A mediated divorce allows both parties to own the process themselves and not hand their destiny over to lawyers and ultimately to the court to decide the final outcome, which can sometimes take a few long and painful years. Mediation allows both parties to seek a mutual agreement whilst allowing the emotional standing of the parties to be processed. The mediation process has extremely positive healing attributes for life after divorce.

 “I’ve had enough” and “I just want this to be over with” are quotes that are heard far too often. Yes, you can sit back and just let the lawyers sort it out, but at what cost?

You’ll lose precious years of your life as well as a lot of money while the lawyers are busy lawyering. In reality life goes on and emotions can run high, affecting your work life and productivity. Do not allow yourself to take this huge emotional risk, especially if you have little ones to worry about.

Conflict is destructive, no matter what the circumstances may be, so afford yourself the opportunity to attempt to resolve it in a peaceful manner (mediation) and you will be thankful for the rest of your life.

5 Important Things you need to know about Family Mediation

In recent years family mediation has been the preferred method to prevent and also resolve any family issues and disputes – this is especially important when children are involved. Mediation is becoming more and more popular because of the fact that freely negotiated agreements can aid in restoring communication, understanding and trust.

Here are 5 important things you need to know about family mediation:

> Choosing family mediation will help to resolve conflict and reach an agreement on the issues surrounding certain issues such as separation or divorce.

> Family mediation allows you to reach a mutual joint decision without spending months in court.

> Your partner or ex-partner can meet in a safe, neutral space with a professional mediator to work out your plans for the future.

> A mediator will never tell you what to do; they will only help you by looking at different options and ways to come to a mutual agreement. This will help sort certain things out in a peaceful manner such as the arrangements for children, finances and property.

> Family mediation is always a voluntary and confidential process.

Cape Mediators are professionals with a wealth of skills and experience in family mediation and conflict resolution. We deliver mediation at the highest accredited standard – If you are seeking mediation please call 082 422 3324 or email mike@capemediators.co.za

7 Signs that your Partner is cheating & it’s time for Divorce Mediation!

Cheating can destroy relationships as well as marriages; this is why it helps to know what signs to look out for if you suspect your partner is cheating.

Divorce is full of negative feelings such as anger, sadness, frustration and disappointment. This is why it is best to resolve the issue in a peaceful way and avoid all the stress as well as a lengthy divorce trial. Contact Cape Mediators today and we’ll help you settle your divorce – call 082 422 3324 or email mike@capemediators.

Be sure to look out for these 7 common signs that reveal that your partner is cheating…

Password Protection – Suddenly changing passwords or implementing new ones could be a sign that he is hiding something.

Cell phone Guarding – He won’t let you use his cell phone, he sleeps with it right next to his bed and takes it into the bathroom with him – these are all common signs.

Appearance – Has he suddenly gone from wearing shorts and a t-shirt to fancy suits, shiny shoes and cologne you’ve never smelled before?

No Intimacy – When you reject him and he doesn’t put up a fight like he usually does then this could be a sign of infidelity.

Social Activities – An important business meeting or a party is a common excuse, so be aware when your partner is all of a sudden going out of town.

Frequent Gifts – If he is feeling guilty about being unfaithful he will try and cover it up by buying you gifts and spoiling you more than usual.

Social Media – Keep an eye on his social media profiles, are there less pictures of you and more solo shots and group images? Be aware of how much time they spend on social media as well!

While these are the common signs, it doesn’t mean that they’re always 100% accurate. Be careful to avoid accusing them, rather sit down and have a talk before you jump to any conclusions.

3 important factors that affect Mediation

Is now the time to attend mediation? Well, there are no specific times; however you’ll have to look at a range of important factors that will affect whether both parties can come to a mutual agreement.

Emotional state, gathering of important information and overall cost are the most vital factors when it comes to mediation…

Emotions – Parties involved in a dispute may experience a lot of emotions, especially when it comes to matters like children and divorce. Your emotional state can mess with rational thinking, judgements and coming to an overall agreement. Should you need the assistance of a professional mediator, always think about your emotional state first as well as the other parties involved.

Information – When both parties are trying to come to a resolution, outside information such as bank statements, pay checks and receipts are also needed. The mediation session will run a lot smoother if everyone has the correct information on hand.

Costs – Choosing mediation is the most affordable decision to make and you’ll avoid wasting money on attorney fees and court costs. Not only is mediation affordable for everyone, but it can take as little as a month to resolve the problem compared to spending years fighting over a dispute in court.

Remember there is no set time to mediate, but consider emotions, the gathering of outside information, and the costs of litigation when you are planning to contact a professional mediator.

If you are ready to schedule your mediation session, do not hesitate to contact Cape Mediators today on 082 422 3324 or email mike@capemediators.co.za

What you need to know about Divorce Mediation in South Africa

When it comes to divorce, the proceedings that follow are usually unnecessarily long, expensive and full of negative emotions.

But why? Because one or both parties cannot come to an agreement about certain factors of the divorce settlement.

The most common factors are maintenance payments, child custody and the division of assets.

This is where mediation comes into the picture. Mediators are trained professionals who are often skilled in a range of mediation services including landlord/tenant mediation, labour disputes, mediation of contractual disputes and the most popular – divorce mediation.

By using a professional mediator, both parties will be assisted in putting aside their emotions and make decisions that will help to bring them to a resolution that is peaceful and accepted by both parties.

The process of mediation is confidential, private and saves both time and money. It also allows both parties involved to communicate with each and try and find a resolution based on their needs.

Would you really want to spend years of your life fighting over a divorce when you can contact a professional mediator and get it done within a few short months?

If you would like help or advice with a divorce please be sure to contact Cape Mediators today. Email mike@capemediators.co.za or give us a call on 082 422 3324 to book your session. Please note that our practice is based in Cape Town, South Africa. Should you require advice on selecting a mediator outside of Cape Town, please contact us and we will gladly provide you with a referral.